January is a time where most people make goals and new resolutions. But the majority of people are done with them by week two or three. I typically have high standards with myself. I will make goals each year and work on how to make them happen. The problem is, though, I never have once completed all of my goals.

For instance, this past year I only completed 50 percent of my goals. There were times in the year that the thought of working on one more thing just seemed overwhelming and it wore me out just thinking about it.

Now, I have about 25 or so goals I make each year. I have learned more about how my perfectionist tendencies affect me and have also learned more the need to be in the present. At times this is a conflict of interest because my perfectionism tells me that in order to complete all of my goals I need to keep working. My desire to live more in the moment tells me I don’t have to have everything completed to be “okay”.

This constant battle of my mind wears me out. Why do I continue to try to accomplish new things?

Simple answer: I’m better for trying new things and challenging myself.

As I reviewed my goals at the beginning of this year and saw it was only 50 percent completed, I was actually okay. I realized that I completed half and half is further along than I was the previous year. Something is better than nothing. No, this is not typical perfectionistic language, but it is my new language.

I’m learning to give myself grace. I easily give grace to others and I’m learning to do that to myself more easily each year. So, when I get worn out by my goals, I say, “Okay, Susan, are you being lazy, or do we need to take a step back and have some down time.” It’s learning when to say no to yourself and when to say yes. And, sometimes for me, just making one more decision can wear me out.

Staying where we are is most comfortable. It seems to take the least amount of energy. We just get stuck in the same rut over and over again and I personally don’t always like that feeling. At some point, I just need to move forward.

So, move ahead I will. I will move ahead with grace, with listening ears, and will stop as needed. The point is to move forward without wearing myself out: to know when to say no to yourself.

Are you already worn out by new goals you’ve made for yourself? Take a pause and ask yourself if it’s time to push forward or time for some grace.

© 2019 Susan M. Sims

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/StuartMiles

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