Think about your best friend, you know, your BFF! This is the person you love spending time with at any point. You are able to talk for hours and yet you are able to sit in the silence comfortably. Each of you knows, for the most part, what the other is thinking without having to say a word. The time spent together has made memories that have bonded you forever.

So, what exactly draws you to your BFF? What do you like most about her? Are there certain traits that you admire? On the other side, what really gets under your skin about your BFF? We all know there’s something about him that bothers you. Does this annoying habit cause you to love her less, or do you accept her for how she is?

I read something in the past couple of weeks that mentioned the need to be comfortable in the silent times; being able to live with yourself in the silence. I don’t know about you, but the times in my life that are most silent are the difficult times. They are hard, lonely, and taxing. During these hard times I’ve found out who I really was because of my reactions: what came out of me during the stressful times.

Last night I made a key lime pie. This was my first time attempting a homemade key lime pie where I actually squeezed the juice from the limes. I tried cutting a few open and squeezing, but I didn’t get a lot of juice from them. Then, I had the idea to roll them, squeeze them, and put pressure on the limes before I cut into them. I figured this might soften them up a bit. It worked better, so I decided to be a bit more rough on the next one and I rolled and squeezed until the juice came out before I started to cut it open. Oh, my, there was so much juice when I finally cut it open!

We are just like this. We have stuff inside of us and if we are cut open some things might come out but not necessarily a lot. There might be a few things we would discover about ourselves, but probably only one or two things. Then, there are the times when we are pushed, prodded, and squeezed by life’s circumstances. We are just like the lime: whatever is inside of us will come out when we’re feeling overwhelmed or less than capable of handling what is coming our way whether we are ever cut open or not!

It’s during these times in life, when I feel pushed and squeezed, that I’ve had to stop and think about what was coming out of me. I have learned to treat myself just like I would treat my BFF when she is going through a difficult time. I show her love, patience, and gentle guidance for areas of improvement. Likewise, I can’t give up on myself. I must allow others to love me and I must learn to love myself. I have to be patient with my perceived view of my faults and inabilities. And, most importantly, I have to be willing to prod myself to improve with God’s help. Change is hard, but just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s always a bad thing. I love watching my BFF grow and develop throughout life and I must hold myself to the same standard.

We’ve all been with ourselves since the day we were born and we’ll be with ourselves until the day we die. There’s no downtime from being alone with yourself. I suggest you learn to be friends with the person you call “you”! It’s not always fun realizing the dark parts of ourselves, no, but it sure feels good knowing we’re working to improve. And, who knows, you may learn to enjoy the silence in both the good and bad times!

What are you going through today? Write a letter to yourself, as you would to your BFF, and be just as patient and loving to yourself as you would be to your BFF. Learn to be your own BFF!

I’d love to hear from you! What’s the most difficult thing for you in being your own BFF?

© 2016 Susan M. Sims

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