This week was emotionally hard for me as I was reminded of the bad side of free will. I have been helping a friend off and on go through a tough situation. During this past year and a half, I would offer my suggestions when asked and would try to offer emotional support. Frozen by the depth of her circumstances, my friend continued to show indifference to deadlines approaching when true decisions had to be made. Her life was in shambles and it all came to a head this week. As I stood there helping her to pick up the literal pieces of her life, I was torn and sickened.

Decisions had been made, both good and bad, but the results of the poor decisions were realized as her very life she had known for years was ripped from her hands. As she looked around, she kept asking why this was happening to her. Yet, she knew this day was coming. I was sad. I gave her a hug and told her all would be fine and she said it wouldn’t. She was more wise in that moment than I was. I provided empty words as I was at a loss for words and she finally realized the results of her previous actions.

I was then frozen by the sadness of the moment and I couldn’t leave. I knew I had to stay and help, so I stayed until all was finished. After a few hours, I returned to my home. As I walked through the door, I was struck by the abundance of all I had. I, too, had made terrible decisions in my life and paid the consequences of my actions and still God welcomed me back home. I realized when my life was in shambles, God was standing in the middle of my mess with me and He was sadden by the choices I had made. He tried over and over again to draw me to Him, but He would not make a decision for me. He allowed me to choose His way or my own way. There He stood, trying to hug me and trying to tell me all would be fine if I chose Him. More often than not, I would say it wouldn’t be fine because I was focused on the situation and not Him.

If I get that sad and sickened by the reality of bad choices others make, how much more does God feel this way when the very people He created choose things in their life that will cause them pain. Again, I was sickened. We live in a world that is unlike the world God desired for us. This is the bad side of free will.

Then, I looked around my house and saw the three kids God has entrusted to my husband and me sitting at the table laughing and joking with one another. I realized these children are the good side of free will. My husband and I know these children belong to God and not to us. We have been entrusted to raise these children to the best of our knowledge and must rely upon God to show us how to lead. For when God says “all will be fine if you choose Me”, it doesn’t mean we are exempt from pain and sadness. We are guaranteed we will never be alone in this messy world. God will still be with us.

God’s presence in our lives are the good side of free will. We know that we have chosen God on our own and He knows that as well. That provides the loving freedom and the sense of peace in difficult days. Knowing I get to choose for this day whom I will serve, God or fill-in-the-blank, allows me to love God more freely because I’m choosing to follow Him. It makes me very thankful He so desires me and chooses me after all my shortcomings.

Whom will you serve today: God or fill-in the blank?

Picture courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net / Theeradech Sanin

© 2015 Susan M. Sims

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