A few weeks ago I heard some really disturbing news about a friend of mine and a bad choice that was made. This choice not only ended a career, but it was far-reaching to hundreds. I was crushed. I really knew this person and I didn’t know how something like this could have happened. Why was there a compromise? I was so confused. Nothing seemed to make any sense. So, I cried out to God. In most situations you would think I would be asking the “why” questions.  Over and over again, though, my questions resonated with the “I just don’t understand”.

I opened my Bible and began reading. I found my way to Psalm 119:26-27 NASB and read the following: “I have told of my ways, and You have answered me; teach me Your statues. Make me understand the way of Your precepts, so I will meditate on Your wonders.” I further read in verses 33-38, “Teach me, O Lord, the way of Your statues, and I shall observe it to the end.  Give me understanding, that I may observe your law and keep it with all my heart.  Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it. Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to dishonest gain. Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways.  Establish Your word to Your servant, as that which produces reverence for You.”

Perhaps I was being a bit demanding of God…teach me, make me, teach me, give me, make me, establish. I would like to think if the psalmist prayed this prayer, than I could, as well, and I did. Not only did I read it once, I then prayed it and then I cried out to God one more time. I was really confused and confounded in this situation. PLEASE, GOD, MAKE ME UNDERSTAND!!!

Unfortunately, this situation is not the first time I have come to question what was going on around me. After such a great relationship with God, I wonder how a godly person can fall so quickly. Know what really scared me as I screamed out, “make me understand”? How far am I away from falling so quickly and choosing what this world has to offer? What would it take in my life for me to turn my face from God. Would my falling impact just my family or hundreds? Our impact of sin affects generations upon generations.  Thankfully, our choosing God impacts generations upon generations more than the impact of sin.

I looked again at Scripture and found verses 28-31, “My soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Your word.  Remove the false way from me, and graciously grant me Your law. I have chosen the faithful way; I have placed Your ordinances before me. I cling to Your testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame! I shall run the way of Your commandments, for You will enlarge my heart”.

Yes, I was grieved, but my strength came not out of false hope from this earth, but from God’s word. I begged God to take any false ways from me. I prayed He would instill His word in my heart. I vowed again that I have chosen His ways. I realized I base my life upon His words and asked Him to come through for me. I needed to know He was legit. My determination to believe God is just and good allows me to continue leading this life of love because it is only through God’s grace and strength that I find freedom in His law. I will continually pray for Him to make me understand, for I desire to know Him more fully.

© 2013 Susan M. Sims

Image courtesy of winnond at freedigitalphotos.net

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