I’ve had the type of week where I have gone through the motions. This has not been my deliberate choice. I have gone through the motions just to survive. There have been various tasks to complete, goals to accomplish,  promises to keep and jobs to be done. There were people counting on me to complete projects. There were small projects that seemed to come out of nowhere and there were projects I’ve been working to complete for a while now. Some jobs required deadlines to meet and others just had to be placed where I had a spare moment.

All these tasks and items on my list have left me tired and wondering why I didn’t feel more joyous over my accomplishments for the week. So much has happened and so many good things have been completed. But, as I walked down the stairs this morning it hit me. It was staring at me, actually. It’s a green chair that sits in the corner of our living room. I received this chair from my aunt and uncle when I was in college. I needed to furnish my first apartment and they had furniture to give away. So, mine it was. This chair became a solace for me as I would sit and read, do homework and commune with God. It was in that chair I realized a long time relationship was truly over. In that chair I decided I would move to Nashville and finish my college career. It was in that chair that I talked with my Grandmother and have memories of her holding each of my children. It’s in this chair I sit to have my quiet time with God.

So, as I walked down the stairs today I wondered when that time would come again: my quiet time with God. You see, Monday started out well, but the week took over. My green chair not only represents the memories I have above, but it reveals even more vulnerable times. There is no T.V. in our living room. We don’t have a radio, phone, or even a clock in there. It’s my favorite room in the house. But, this lack of noise and distractions leave me open for discovery about myself. I don’t always like or love what I discover either.

This only leaves me to wonder today, what did I discover about myself this week as I wasn’t sitting in the chair. I did work for God and work for my husband and kids. I helped at school and church and attended to the house. I served others who needed to be served. I provided a listening ear to one in need. I even played doctor as I adjusted some of my insulin intake!  It was a lot of “works” if you look at it on paper, but it was my heart that mattered more. I knew this was where God needed me this week. So, He provided me the strength and encouragement I needed each day.

I heard one of my favorite songs on the radio 3 times this week. The song reminds me that no matter what is going on I can’t do it on my own and I must not turn away from God. It’s always been a good reminder for me to check myself and my motives for why I do what I do. So, this week I learned that I did what God wanted me to do, but I also realized that I truly missed our quiet times together. I truly desire to learn about and understand more this God who created me. I desire to always be in His will and heed to His calling upon my life. But what encouraged me the most was I learned that when I sit in the green chair to have devotions it is not merely going through the motions.

© 2012 Susan M. Sims

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