Perfection. Definition (according to Susan):

1. the art of completing a project exactly right
2. accepting that you did the best you could with what you have

For many years I have struggled with definition number one because so many times I have failed!  I love to strive for perfection, but it makes me struggle, too. I tend to be an all-or-nothing type of girl. So, if I think it can be done, I go for it wholeheartedly. If I feel I will fail, I tend to not do it, or at least drag my feet for as long as I can before starting the project. I really don’t care to invest time in a job I know will be done incorrectly.

Counted cross-stitching is not for the faint of heart. There is a lot of concentration needed to make sure you do it correctly.  If you count one square the wrong way it can mess up your entire picture. I worked on a piece for about 7 years off and on. It was a Christmas scene about the size of an 8×10 frame and just about every square was accounted for in the design. A blanket was a part of the design and I found out after 4 LONG rows that I had miscalculated by one! I didn’t know what to do. I had just spent an hour working on the 4 LONG rows. I could either make up my own portion of the blanket, or I could take it out and do it over. I chose definition number one…exactly right.

So many times in my life I choose definition number one. I choose it because I can place the blame somewhere else. If the light would have been brighter I could have seen the material more closely. If someone had not been talking to me while I was counting, I could have concentrated better. If the pattern had been bigger it would have been easier to see.  So many “ifs” that I get tired just listening to them in my head and yet I can still think of more!

Why do we do this to ourselves? We continually spin around in these “ifs” as if it will really get us where we need to go. Basically, we have learned to use these “ifs”, or explanations if you will, as a crutch. We gravitate toward a way out of the situation before we’ve ever allowed ourselves to come close to finishing and we get frustrated.

Now, let’s look at scheduling for a moment. I have come to believe that running a household’s schedule is pretty much like earning a degree at any university. I pride myself in getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there. Yesterday was one of those days. It was soccer time. The girls knew they would be picked up from school in order for the quick turn-around time of getting to soccer. Everyone was where they were supposed to be at the time they needed to be there. One problem, though, I was 30 minutes off in my scheduling. You see, practice had been moved up 30 minutes to account for the darkness and I had forgotten. In fact, I did not even remember until I informed the girls we were early to practice. As I parked the van, the light went on in my head that they were in fact quite late!  Amazingly, yesterday, in that moment, I chose definition number 2!  I chose to accept that I did the best I could with what I had.

You might be shaking your head thinking I have my theology a bit messed up, but, in fact, I did the best I could with what I had.

You see, I’m human and not God.  I will never be perfect as in definition number one. I will make mistakes, I will fall down, but I will continually strive to make the best out of what I have to work with…this frail human body called Susan. But, this frail human body is God’s child and He has empowered me to come into His perfection; His completion; His wholeness.

© 2012 Susan M. Sims

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