Today I was a Mother in the truest sense of the word…I went on a field trip with my daughter! I even rode the bus. I even told other children to sit down and be quiet. I gave other children the “motherly eye” when they were doing things they shouldn’t have been doing. I showed absolutely no discrimination to any child when it came time to say something that needed to be said.
Then, in the not so quiet moments on the bus, my daughter and I talked. We talked about the stuffed animals she bought and thought up which names seemed most appropriate. We discussed why one should be a boy and why one should be a girl. She then told me how many kids she dreamed of one day having and in what order she wanted and why. Such small talk, but so endearing to a parent’s ear. I loved watching how life in its smallest details can provide such avid responses and excitement. What amazed me the most was how we can sit on most quiet nights without a word being spoken and yet in this chaos of a bus we had such an intimate time together.
My life is like a bus at times: chaotic, bumpy, and loud. There is so much going on inside that you can easily get distracted. You are busy looking around to see if someone is going to do something they should not be doing. All the while, you miss the conversation with the person beside you. In the busyness of life we often get distracted. I still don’t know how I get distracted half the time. Most everything I do in life seems important and good at the time. Yet, here I go paying attention to the row behind me and not at the person beside me. I am so busy looking at where I have come from and what could have been that I miss out on what God has placed before me here in the present.
Ever been on a bumpy ride? Never know whether it’s safe to let go or if you should hold on for dear life? On a bus you have no control of where you are going as you are simply a passenger on the journey. When we board a bus, we usually know the destination, but not always how we will get there. Sometimes as the screaming children get louder I ponder, “why on earth would the driver take us this way? The other road would have been more direct and much shorter”. But, I must release control of knowing the path to get to the destination — even when I feel my head cannot pound any harder!
Speaking of being loud, don’t we long for those quiet times to rest and relax in God’s Presence? When those days finally happen, though, I must admit I’m so tired that I tend to crash and get frustrated that I cannot seem to hear God speaking. My attitude is wrong most of the time, too, as if God should be so grateful that I finally took time out for Him that He should choose to speak to me upon my bidding. It sounds so awful as I’m writing these words, but I act that way at times in reality. I’m a little spoiled child who expects to get my Daddy’s attention whenever I feel I deserve it!
What does my Daddy choose to do about this? He comes to me in the chaotic, bumpy, loud bus I call life, for such a time as this. He comes to me at dinner time when my child asks for a hug after a hard day and feels validated. He comes at bedtime when I am exhausted and I hear my child pray. He comes to me through the naming of newly purchased stuffed animals on a field trip. He comes to me when I am at the end of my rope and He answers a prayer…my prayer…my plea that I have agonized over for weeks. He comes to me! He comes to me when I don’t deserve Him and still chooses to love me.
© 2012 Susan M. Sims
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